1.  As part of teacher training, about 30 teachers were sitting in a class room.  The presentation was "The Chain of Command:  How to report problems and who to report them to."  This is presumably required because the principal is tired of hearing the teachers complain straight to her.  So the presenter at this session is one of the vice principals, we'll call him Mr. Jackson.
Mr. Jackson: "Now, for example, who has a problem with their classroom right now?"
Older, but very sassy female teacher: "I do.  There are RATS in my portable."
Mr. Jackson: "Ok, and when was that?"
Sassy: "It started last year, but they're still there, no one has done anything about it!  And they are eating the computer wires!"
Mr. Jackson: "Well, you should have told someone about it last year."
Sassy: "I DID!!!"
Mr. Jackson: "Who did you tell?"
Sassy: "I told YOU!"
Mr. Jackson: "Well, that's a district problem."

At the time it was very awkward, what with 28 teachers sitting in silence while this took place.  But for now: hahahahahahahahahahahaha





2.  My scores compared to district.
One should note that, due to our aforementioned badass department chair, my school is the only high school in the district that does not allow native Spanish speakers to take Spanish 1.  Novel idea, to be sure, but that makes these scores even more promising.