It's the end of March, which means everyone's getting excited for final exams pregnant.  Seriously, a good 15% of the students I teach are either baby mamas, baby daddies, or expecting.  What can I say?  Unfortunately, not much.  I yearn to sit each student down and talk about the limitations that a family can bring.  What I end up doing is fawning over babies and saying "Ohhh, how cute!" when they bring in the children.  Damn my penchant for cute things!  Damn it to HELL!!

Anyway, if you are facebook friends with me, you know that I teach a pair of particularly challenging African-American students.  The boy's name will be "Jaquan," the girls name will be "Latesha."

Latesha is extremely hostile and skinny to the point that I reported her to the counselors due to suspicion of abuse through under-nutrition.  Jaquan is also skinny, but not AS skinny.  These two students constantly berate each other, no matter how far apart they sit or how much I threaten with discipline.  Students and teachers alike no longer put up the charade of pretending to be affected by discipline.  As discussed on this blog time and time again, referrals mean students out of school, which means less money for the school, which means: no referrals!

Anyway, here are some choice selections of Jaquan and Latesha "scoring" on each other:

Jaquan: 'I saw Latesha in the park this morning eating nuts with her cousins all dem squirrels.'
Latesha: 'Boy I saw you there too, in the grass... Stickin' yo big head up through the ground with your millipede lookin' ass!'

And also,

Latesha: "Don't even try to score on me, nasty-ass kangaroo head lookin' boy!"
Jaquan: "Shut up girl and brush yo teef."
Latesha: "Boy shut up with yo hot-ass stank-ass dragon breath!"
Tay-kwon, from across the room: "Girl ain't nobody talkin' to you!"
Jaquan and Latesha: (Long string of obscenities declaring that it was, in fact, Tay-Kwon to whom no one was speaking)
Me (continuing): "And those are ALL the answers to the test!  So it's basically impossible for you to fail now, right?"


Of course they all failed the test because they were listening to the poetics of Jaquan and Latesha.  No biggie.  66 days until summer.