Well, the school year has started, and I'm now the department chair of languages (and teaching upperclassmen) at my NEW school.  A principal who answers emails the SAME day.  A LOCKING closet in which to put my purse.  Textbooks the FIRST week of school, not the 31st.  Air conditioning IN my classroom.  Things are different all right!

There was, however, on my first teacher work day of preparing my room, a humongous dead (thank you lord) cockroach, legs up, on the floor in front of the door, about where a welcome mat would go.  I should have expected it, you know the old saying, "If you get it all, you're also going to get a cockroach."  Wise words.

In order to get here, I had to be kinda sneaky.  The principal at this new school knew me already, and kinda "stole" me last minute without providing a replacement to my old school.  So the administration at the old school (what was left of it, the principal quit and several assistants were reassigned) was rather upset, because it meant they had to hire a permanent substitute.  For me, though, it was a promotion in every way, so I had to fight kinda dirty, and sadly due to the bureaucracy level in the district, that meant going behind the administrator's back.

I was feeling really guilty about this until I got an email from the substitute.  She said my old department chair (who helped me get the new job, is there anything she didn't do for me yet?) gave her my email so I could give her some tips on teaching 40-50 malevolent kids in a tiny room with no AC, 4 times a day with no break.  Let's face it, those are the only kind of tips I had to give!  My replacement is already certified to teach Spanish, she is just waiting for her interview; so the kids are in good hands.  It was still sad to see her end her emails with "Do you know where any more textbooks are?" ("No.") and "I hope you're having a good year so far, over here I have a class with 46 kids and no AC on a 107 degree day..." ("Yeah, that probably won't change, I had to buy 2 fans with my own money.").

But enough about the old.  District-wide, non-core teachers lost 50% of their planning time due to budget cuts (someone has to teach those classes that used to belong to hundreds of fired teachers).  On a block schedule, that means that on every other day, you teach all day with no break; and the classes are very, very full.  Those who are blessed with a high-maintenance body-hydrating system, like yours truly, will wonder, "Do they expect me to pee in a bottle?!?!?!?!".  The answer is: Only if you didn't have enough foresight to fast the night before.

All in all, I'm very happy.  Upperclassmen are a much more docile bunch, and I was floored when I told one rough-looking child to be quiet... and he DID.  Let's not sugar-coat things though, I have had to kick 2 students out of class.  The message has to be strong the first week, and unfortunately that is what works.  When one girl was being really disrespectful, and trying to sustain an argument as I tried to keep teaching,  I just said, "Get out."  She started getting up, mouthing off the whole time, and I just said, "That behavior isn't welcome.  See you later."  And when she walked out the door, I heard one of the african-american boys who had been sitting next to her whisper to his friend, "Man this lady don't take NO bull."  No sir, she don't, and at least I got that across nice and early.

So I'm already racking up a few discipline issues, but it's not too bad.  I knew that particular girl was trouble when I called out her name, which is "Paula," with a hispanic last name (let's say, Flores).  So as with all the other names, I gave it the spanish pronunciation, which is more like "Pa-oo-la"  instead of "Pol-uh".  And when I called her she didn't answer, and then finally she said, in a tone not unlike this one at 1:04, "That's not my name.  Oh are you trying to say 'Pol-uh'?  Because THAT is my name, not that other thing you were saying."

What a little snot.  So later in the day she's drinking her tropicana in the classroom, which isn't allowed, and when I told her to put it away or throw it away, that's when she started mouthing off and was kicked out.  Later I found the bottle on the floor under her desk, her last little contribution to my class.  I knew she would deny it later, so I took a picture:

Exhibit A: teacher driven to being conniving private investigator in order to salvage sanity.

So I called her mom, disconnected number.  Aunt, no answer.  Finally I got to her grandmother, who explained that the mom is getting a new phone Monday, and then asked what was wrong in a somewhat challenging tone.  Weary of guardians who were often less polite than their kids, I explained what happened and my expectations of Paula.  There was a long pause and then the grandma said, "Well.... um... who does she think she is?"

Hallelujah!

We had a 15 minute chat about what would be done by the grandma and the mom and how I didn't have to worry about this again, yada yada.  So refreshing.

I also tried to call the parents of 3 african american guys in my class who seemed like trouble-makers, but during the lesson had taken the initiative and learned 3 complex grammar lessons in one day.

Digression: We had to take this break-neck pace because last year the students had a fun coach for Spanish 1, which meant they watched videos and copied things, but still didn't know what "me gusta" means.  Yet he continues to teach because his test scores are sky-high due to the number of native speakers in his class looking for easy grades.  Siiiiiiiiiiigh.  

They were very loud about it, and joking around, mispronouncing things left and right ("Boy I'm uh, I'm uh, gwapapo*, whatchu know bout that, you over here bein' tonto.") but they inspired the class to try and generally participate.  They asked relevant questions and wrote down my answers to them.  So I tried to call their parents with the good news, but all of the numbers they gave to the school had been disconnected.
*He was trying to say "guapo", which means good-looking.  Tonto is foolish or silly.

My responsibilities as department chair will be challenging, since the placement of Spanish speakers in regular spanish class is all out of whack (the way my old school was until the last couple of years) so there is plenty to do.  Meanwhile, I'm spending my free time applying and researching international schools in South America... so maybe, just maybe, this blog will be written from below the equator this time next year :)